Tonto ‘N’ Tottoo

Subject: Tonto ‘N’ Tottoo Tattoo

Open Letter To Tonto Dikeh

Dear Tonto,
You are a great actor and have risen to the top in a very short time. Kudos to you.
I love the trailing stars tattoo on your neck, because I love stars. My name means ‘Star’ by the way.
BUT….I saw your new tat(tattoo), and I was angry! [Still am]. 
Ah, no! I am NOT angry that you tattooed your back, after all, it is YOUR back. And you have the ABSOLUTE, TOTAL right to do anything you like to it O jare. BUT, I am not happy that you covered your whole back like that, because as a Movie Costumer, you have just created a big problem for the wardrobe people! 
And you have just limited roles you can be cast in! For example….there is NO way you can now fit into a role of a Reverend Sister. Oops! No, You actually can. The reverend sister’s robe covers the whole body. Errmmm…Ok, how about the role of a good daughter?! Ok, you can. Good daughters do not expose all their backs. 
{scratching my head}….Dang! You win! You can get away with it. But…Ok, how about a role where you have to dress elegantly?? Ah ha! You see? It would be hard to dress you up in a show-back elegant dress!
Now, you just eliminated, erased, deleted yourself from Epic movies! How would you hide your tattoo when you are called to play a role of lady in a village setting in the 18th Century?  Or even one as recent as  in the 1980s??? Seeing that they didn’t have tattoos like that in that era. 

I just wonder, did you really think this through? That is, the pros and cons? Sure everyone has the right to mutilate/design their bodies, but when you alter your body in a way that would impact other stakeholders in an industry you are in, that is a totally different game!  As an actress, your body and your talent is what producers and directors earn money from.  You cannot just change things on a whim! More so, when you rose to the top, the way you are now! 
Unless, of course, you plan to quit the movie business??

YOU CHOSE a profession that has taken away the ‘right to do whatever you like on your body’!

Heidi Klum insuring her legs for millions of dollars DOES NOT mean that she has the best legs, or that she cannot chose to tattoo the legs, pierce them or even stretch the bones of those legs or whatever else can be done to them legs. The fact here is that her legs gets are the major part of her career and lots of other fashion stakeholder depend on those legs to earn their income as well. 

In the wider movie arena, WHAT IF one Hollywood Director has been eyeing you all these years, and now you just boxed yourself into seriously ‘punk’ and ‘bad girl’ roles???
My Tigress [washed off like 2 weeks after application] 🙂
Tonto, I love tattoos O, for real, but I got no liver to carve them in my skin, that is why I put on the temporary ones:
And I understand that wearing a tattoo would automatically make people have a ‘different impression of me’! Take it or leave it, that is the way it is! Tattoos are NOT what a President would largely carve on his body! A pastor would not even carve ‘Jesus’ on him! 
People have been denied lucrative jobs they are very qualified for, just because they had ‘visible’ tattoos at the wrong places!
There are runway shows that I would not pick a model with a large prominent tattoo, because, her tattoo would distract from my garment! 
And I see people now focusing on your tattoo more in a movie, instead of listening to the words coming out of your mouth. In other words, your tattoo, sweetheart, is likely to be very distracting in movies now. 

So, what if you change your mind about this back tattoo tomorrow, 6 months, in a  year? Or say you get called to become a pastor [lol. But it is possible dear]. Or say, your people ask you to run for Senate? And have you thought of what to tell your kids if they decide to pierce, tattoo, do sex-change etc? You realize that laser removal would NOT take all off, right? But, I am sure you know that already.
Anyhoo, like they would say in Warri , ‘na ya bodi!’…..but think of all the cool clothes you can’t wear again to certain places.  
Because whether you like it or not, wearing such a large tattoo is still NOT too acceptable in Nigerian society. Even in US here, people with too much tattoo are looked at ‘one-kind’. 
I already said i am angry about your tattoo right? And that is because you SHOULD FIRE THAT TATTOO ARTIST! Oh No! You Can’t! There is no eraser for the tat. There is no ‘Undo’ button for that back art! But, you can sue the artist!! 
You are far prettier than that tattoo!! 

Seriously, why didn’t you tattoo this image of you below???
This face would have made a better tattoo
Your face here looks so ethereal and pretty! And I am assuming it would have been easier to create. 
Seriously, this MEGA Tattoo actually has what looks like a bag under your eye.

My dear, even if there is no refund or easy-erase, you can still get some kind of compensation or even a discount for ‘artistic-misrepresentation’ of your beautiful face, Yes?

I shall stop here, as I do not want to seem like i am bashing you on this blog. I am not, I love your spunk! I love how you don’t give a dump what anyone thinks about you! That takes confidence and guts! Kudos! gurl. But…..these your shoulder pads below sha…….hmmmm…….. let me end my letter here.
Fashionably Yours
Please I would like to know why you, Uche Jombo and Kalu Ikeagwu have deliberately stayed away from D.C., Maryland, and Virginia (DMV) with the ‘DAMAGE’ movie. You guys didn’t get the memo that the DMV is the Nollywood-USA Hub of America??? hiiiissssss
But, I have to ask you Tonto, because I like the back view, NOT feeling the  dangling, wobbling shoulder pads though: 

WHO are you WEARing?